Bag coming apart in your hands? Has the designer gone easy on the glue? Or do the instructions tell you to seal the bag with non-existent tabs?

Air Deccan

Such a polite bag: "Kindly fold her and turn tabs to secure".

Sadly, no tabs to turn: the nearest this bag gets is the metal plate somewhat messily affixed in the seam down the middle of the bag's back with double-sided tape.

Luckily the Air Deccan logo makes up for the disappointment: it shows a couple of hands raised in supplication for a turbulence-free trip.

Air France (blue)

From the days before Air France discovered multi-coloured printing.

Bangkok Airways (slipped logo)

Oops, printing error here: the printer didn't have the plates aligned right for the red and gold inks.

El Al (blue/green)

Printing in two colours is a tricky business. You print the dark ink first, then the lighter ink, but making the image very slightly larger than necessary so it overlaps the darker colour underneath. That way you avoid leaving a narrow white gap if the paper isn't positioned quite right. This technique is called "trapping". (Remember: you read it hear first.)

The Israeli airline hasn't quite mastered this yet: the green and blue on this bag overlap by a full 1.5 millimetres, leaving a nasty brownish border around the green. Plus, the small, white letters are so light, they are almost illegible. "Not to be used for disposal of liquids and cigarette butts", they say in Hebrew, English, French and Russian. How are passengers supposed to know this if they can't read it? Oh, and what do you do if your barf is more liquid than solid?

Garuda (open top)

Two distinguishing features about this bag: the sloppy construction (the seam threatens to come apart with a minimal load of barf), and the fact that it is not sealed at the top, despite the "tear of here" and perforations.

Malev Hungarian Airlines (instructions)

Pictures (British Airways influence?) and lots of words: "If used for air sickness please hand to cabin crew for disposal" in Hungarian, English, German, Italian and French. The last four languages and the pictures are lifted directly from the 1996 British Airways bag. The French is a problem: "Dans ce cas, appelez un membre de l'équipage qui vous en débarassera" ("In this case, call a member of the crew who will relieve you of it"). Malev has missed off the first sentence that tells you what the "case" is all about ("si vous avez le mal de l'air").

Merpati (get the feeling)

Features someone throwing something into a litterbin. Not that I've ever seen a bin on board a Merpati flight. Try forcing your bag into your arm-rest ashtray instead - it's so small it might just fit. The text also has the friendly advice, "Keep clean". So is hygiene what "Get the feeling" is all about?

Novair (broken star)

The printing is slightly out on this specimen, so the little Novair star looks even more like a supernova than usual.

Pharaoh Airlines

This is the sort of bag to bring joy to a baggist's heart. There's the colourful Pharaoh logo -- a bundle of papyrus rushes bent to form the letter P. And then there's the English text: "Close by folding clamps. Shut with tab. Through it waist basket in lavatory".

Ah, but what clamps? you ask. There aren't any -- you'll have to make do with the tab. Then there are the two delightful spelling errors in the last instruction. And have you ever seen a waste basket in an aeroplane loo? A bin, perhaps, but a basket?